Letters From the Bus
Scary Fetishist Edition
Dear Scary Fetishist:
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, nyet, nein, non, nuh uh, NO! No, the answer is no. Have I mentioned no? You may very definitely NOT lick the rain (or anything else for that matter) off my feet. In fact, you may not even look at my feet ever again. If I catch you even glancing sideways at my feet with anything I might perceive as lust in your eyes, I will quell the flame of your desire with a swift bucket of kick in the nuts. That is my pledge and promise to you, you nasty little eye raper of feet.
Of course, I am a bit concerned that this might turn you on. I don’t understand how the attraction to feet works, exactly. You could view my foot firmly lodged in your groin as the ultimate sexual fantasy, but I am willing to bet that, unless your fetishes include a strong masochistic streak, the pain of the contact will outweigh any pleasure you might derive from it.
Extremely Sincerely,
Lily
P.S. Thanks for ruining flip-flops for me, asshole.
Props to Mae for finding the perfect photo.