Springsteen’s Crotch Has Seismic Repercussions
Take That, Tony Danza!
A mere 24 hours after Bruce Springsteen sexually molested America by thrusting his crotch into the camera during his Super Bowl performance, New Jersey experienced an Earthquake. While we at ThunderSquee! aren’t scientists, we hypothesize that 4 million Jersey women simultaneously hitting the ground, throwing their legs over their head and bracing for Springcrotch impact could and did trigger this seismic event.
The earthquake, which measured a 3 on the Richter Magnitude Scale, caused an estimated billion dollars of improvements to property.
More (read factual) information can be found here.
Many thanks to resident Angry Black Lady stopthemadness. This article is better for her hilarity.