What the Crap!?
There’s a robber on the loose, so be on the look-out
Not the drag clown in question...probably
Really, I can’t do more comedic justice to this story than the facts do, so here they are.
According to thedenverchannel.com, Boulder Police are looking for a a man who robbed Boulder Beer Emporium late Saturday night. Shortly before midnight on June 27th, an Emporium employee called 911, stating that the store was robbed. The perp was described as a man “wearing red and white face makeup, a red and purple wig, a fake nose and a denim dress.” In other words, they were held-up by a transvestite clown.
Employees told police they didn’t think anything was odd at first, because Pridefest events were going on in the city over the weekend, but that eventually the man walked up to an employee in the store and asked for help in a feminine voice, saying, “Will you help me? My husband is out of work.” When the clerk refused, the transvestite clown…did I mention the transvestite clown thing? I think I did, OK…when the clerk refused to help, the clown pulled out a gun. And while I am willing to bet that if the clown had pulled the trigger, a flag reading “Bang!” would have sprung out and unfurled, the clerk wasn’t nearly as convinced. As such, the sight of the pistol made him far more amenable to helping.
After the clerk forked over the contents of the cash register, the clown fled on foot. Presumably, said feet were sporting very large, squeaky shoes.