Coca-Cola Company to Injured Man: Eff You, Fu Hu
Replied Fu Hu, eff you, too, foo’
Not actual exploding juice.
Chinese immigrant Fu Hu, who runs a drink bar in Auckland, New Zealand, sustained a serious eye injury when a bottle of Keri juice (a brand owned by Coca-Cola) exploded in his face. The 2.4L bottle of juice had apparently fermented, even though it was within its use-by date, and exploded when he went to open it, leaving him visually impaired and with little hope of recovering his full vision. The accident also cost him about $5000 and the Accident Compensation Corporation had only covered part of the cost of treatment, he said.
Mr. Hu confronted the Coca-Cola Company about the problem, and while the drinks giant agreed that the juice was indeed fermented before its use-by date, they claimed they are in no way liable. As an apology, they offered Hu a case of Keri orange juice and $200 in coupons, because, like th rest of us, Coke knows that what someone who has been injured by your product wants is more of it.
In addition to their “not our fault” statement, the Coca-Cola Company also stated that this was not a public safety issue. So let that be a lesson to you, juice drinkers, if you’re attacked by a rogue exploding, fermented bottle of juice, you have only yourself to blame. The company who produced it and who is responsible for the product’s integrity is in no way responsible for the product’s integrity. Got that? No? Shut up. Here’s some coupons.
Don’t feel bad, Fu Hu didn’t get either. He’s considering legal action.
Author’s note: Here’s a bit of trivia for you. This entire story works as a giant in-joke for Jews on two levels. 1) The word keri literally means “contrary” in Hebrew, and 2) It figuratively means “seminal emission.” I also feel the need to confess that I only read this story intially because a dude getting hit in eye with “Keri juice” made me giggle.
Another bit of trivia, Keri Russell is of Jewish heritage, opening up the possibility that her parents intentionally named her “Seminal emissions” Russell. She should probably avoid Israel.