Archive for the ‘Celebrity Shenanigans’ Category

What the Crap!?

No seriously…
Maybe Jennifer Love Hewitt decided tennis whites were boring and that tennis shoes didn’t provide enough of a challenge?  Maybe she was terrified of not looking “sexy” for Jamie Kennedy? Who knows, but for whatever reason, while she and Kennedy were vacationing in Hawaii she decided to play tennis in a bikini and wedge [...]

Eddie Izzard Has Lost His Damn Mind

We love you Eddie, but your balls are going to fall off
Eddie Izzard is a charitably minded man (one of the many reasons he’s been a Bale), and he enjoys setting challenges for himself to raise awareness and money for charity, but this time he may have gone too far–about 1,100 miles too far. This [...]

The Life-Force Theory Might Be Correct

Stop it, Madonna
Either she is wasting away without Guy Ritchie’s life-force to feed on, or she’s working out just too damned much.  Either way, her arms are freaking me out, so she either needs to find someone talented to suck dry or fire Tracy Anderson and eat a gently caressing meal.

Tom Lets Katie Off Her Leash

Apparently he’s OK with her being sexy now
Katie performed a rousing tribute to Judy Garland, singing and dancing to Get Happy for the 100th episode of  So You Think You Can Dance?, and because everyone seems to be being mean about her performance (and I’m contrary by nature), I feel the need to leap to [...]

Dr. New

Matt Smith reveals the new doctor’s look
Each Doctor Who has their signature look, and the actor playing the doctor  plays a large role in defining it. David Tennant chose his trench coat and chucks, Tom Baker had his massive, colorful scarf, and now Matt Smith, with the help of a costume designer, has revealed his [...]

Barton Batshit

What gave it away?

Was it the headbands, her willingness to sleep with Cisco Adler, the wild fluctuations in her weight, her sudden departure to France, or the stupid overly fringed boots?  We don’t know, but we do know it was pretty obvious she needed some help.
According to MSNBC, the LAPD placed Mischa Barton under an [...]

Paltrow Pissed, Pouty

She doesn’t pull like she used to
Our favorite smug elitist is allegedly angry over being left off the Iron Man 2 posters.  According to The Sun, she thinks Scarlett Johansson is stealing her thunder (much like she stole Shakespeare in Love from Winona Ryder. Ahhh, frienemies).  The Sun quotes a source as saying:
“Gwyneth was afraid [...]

Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Vapid Pop Singers That Make Me Want to Punch Them in the Face

I’m thinking that title is catchy enough to be a hit
Katy Perry has filed her latest entry in the “I’m a Bigger Attention Whore than Megan Fox” competition.  This week Perry tells the world all about how her boobs are real, how much she loves them, and that push-ups (the exercise, not the bra or [...]

Potter Picks up a Pair of Prizes for his Pubes

I can’t resist alliteration
Daniel Radcliffe won two awards for his role in the Broadway production of Equus at Saturday’s 2009 Broadway.com Audience Awards.  He was awarded Favorite Leading Actor in a Broadway Play and Favorite Breakthrough Performance. Let this serve as a lesson for all child actors attempting to make a transition into more grown [...]

A $300K OOPS!

Apparently domestic violence is a social gaffe
Chris Brown paid jeweler Jason of Beverly Hills $300,000 to create a tacky-ass necklace that reads “OOPS!” to wear as a form of public apology to P. Diddy’s (or whatever his nom de jour is today) Fourth of July party.  It’s good to see Brown is so understanding of [...]

Billy Mays Goes Kaboom!

and kaput
Television huckster Billy Mays,  known for his for his ability to hawk a product in tones that were still audible after you’d hit the mute button, was found dead in his home today at age 50.  Cause of Death has yet to be determined.
I think the most fitting TS! tribute to Mr. Mays is [...]

Do You Get it Now, Perez?

Even Matthew Shepard’s Family Dislike Perez Hilton

Perez Hilton stated on his blog that any proceeds he received from his suit against Black Eyed Peas’ road manager Polo Molina would be donated to the Matthew Shepard Foundation.  However,  the Matthew Shepard Foundation heard this and have publicly denounced Hilton and stated they don’t want his money.  It [...]

Ferris and Flicka Add Two to Their Stable

James Wilkie an only child?  Nay, no more…

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s surrogate mother gave birth to their twin daughters Tuesday. They’ve named the girls Marion Loretta Elwell and Tabitha Hodge Broderick in an apparent attempt to make sure everyone knows they’re WASPs. The babies weighed about 6 pounds each, and are reportedly in [...]

VH1 to Air Seemingly Intelligent Show Featuring Jessica Simpson

John of Patmos heard to utter, “Shit, I didn’t see that one coming.”
Starting next month, VH1 will be airing a new reality, documentary type show that’s produced and hosted by Jessica Simpson.  The show is called The Price of Beauty and features Simpson traveling around the world talking to women “about the things they do [...]

No More Batman?

Oh, HELL no!
Mr. Squee! WILL be making another Batman movie.  Isn’t that right, honey? No need to answer.  I’ll do it for you.  That’s right! Granted, that’s not what he told MTV while promoting his new movie, Public Enemies (Also starring Johnny Depp, btw.  It really is like a Squee! come true).  He told MTV [...]

Doctors Help Children in Need

Last Who-rah

There’ll be one last chance to see David Tennant as a Time Lord, it seems.  Tennant is slated to appear with all the other Doctors Who, even the dead ones, in a special, 15 minute short to help the BBC’s Children in Need charity fundraiser.  The mini-episode will air in the UK during the [...]

That Bale is a Depp

The class act continues
Johnny Depp, the Bale Bale aspires to be (sorry, honey), recently left a $4000 tip for a lucky Chicago waiter.  Yep, you read those zeros right. Mohammed A. Sekhani, a waiter at Gibson’s, a well known Chicago steakhouse, says he has waited on Depp before, enough so that Depp calls him “Mo,” [...]

Nip Tuck

Trend it like Beckham
Victoria Beckham is apparently quite the trendsetter. According to the Daily Mail, she’s helped fuel the latest plastic surgery fad, nipple enhancement. After flaunting her baby-spigots all over the globe, it seems she set off rumoUrs that her nipples were fake, and soon women were clamoUring for surgically enhanced nipples, just like [...]

Ed McMahon, Passed Away at 86

Ed McMahon died today, June 23, 2009, at the Ronald Reagan/UCLA Medical Center. His death was attributed to pneumonia and other medical problems. He was a gameshow host, professional sidekick, Starsearcher and  Publisher’s Clearing House huckster, and wanted you to turn your gold into cash, but most notably, he was the man who spent 30 [...]

Leo-ering the Bar

They don’t seem to care, so why should we?

Relax everyone. Leonardo Di Whatshisface–you know, Johnny Depp’s mentally handicapped brother–and that Israeli model he’s cheating on Mother Earth with aren’t broken up.  Did anyone think they were? Did anyone care? This photo is supposed to serve as proof they are together and going strong, but it [...]