Times are tough and people are looking for new ways to make money.  The more entrepreneurial of us are constantly trying to come up with million dollar ideas to pitch to venture capitalists in the hope they’ll get money to develop their idea, and if you’ve ever seen shows like Dragon’s Den in the UK and Canada (among others) or Shark Tank in the US, you’ll know that some people have some seriously bad ideas that they think are completely awesome and for which they fully expect a billion trillion dollars.  They call these people “lunatics,” but even at their worst, their foolish ideas aren’t as bad as some of the saner ones.  So I’ve decided to see how bad the ideas could get, and came up with my own list of horrible product or business ideas. Enjoy.

• 10. Used dog toys
• 9.  Hybrid speculum/cork extractor
• 8.  Home Dentistry Kit
• 7. 811–A number people can call to tell someone everything is going OK today.
• 6. Hypodermic needle recycling
• 5. Steel wool bath puffs
• 4. Tiger Balm Lube
• 3. Do-it-yourself Circumcision kit
• 2. Squid leash
• 1. Vinegar and baking soda douche

These choices have very little to do with the songs themselves; these are videos that either  made the medium better through innovation, or made the songs better by capturing something or adding another dimension to it or to the artist. We allowed ourselves only one video from each artist or group because certain artists tend to be more video oriented. That made it much more difficult, and keeping it to 50 nearly proved to be lethal, but we made it!

Here they are, in no particular order. We hope you have as much fun with them as we did. Let us know what you think. What would you add to the list to make it more definitive?

The Avalanches – Frontier Psychiatrist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8BWBn26bX0

Thom Yorke and UNKLE – Rabbit in Your Headlights
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3ClCwcCvdQ

Weezer – Buddy Holly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiIC5qcXeNU

Art of Noise – Close to the Edit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxidefcsjDc

Soundgarden – Black Hole Sun
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiSkyEyBczU

Pulp – This is Hardcore
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BmL-7Y1kw8

Portishead – Glory Box
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF-GvT8Clnk

Jamiroquai – Virtual Insanity
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJmX1z1NY2c

OK Go! – Here it Goes Again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI

Fatboy Slim – Weapon of Choice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZbckwYY9r4

Billy Joel – Pressure
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGksmlTWCFE

Talking Heads – Once in a Lifetime
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x12spb_talking-heads-once-in-a-lifetime_music

Outkast – The Whole World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5UJjQt3bkM

Fiona Apple – Criminal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTpvjNn2BUM

Nirvana – Heart Shaped Box
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK7Ai9dWrRQ

Kaiser Chiefs – Everything is Average Nowadays
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpYj7-YMGqA

Timbaland and Magoo – Here We Come
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ial3ZY0rtpw

Madonna – Like a Prayer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uORcKfgVJaE

Chemical Brothers – Let Forever Be
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hmpxsk3dHaA

Peter Gabriel – Sledgehammer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqyc37aOqT0

Genesis – Land of Confusion
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oepXF2B5NK4

Beck – Loser
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1513185/beck_loser/

Beastie Boys – Intergalactic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDS83yrM30Y

Super Furry Animals – It’s Not The End of the World?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUoc6Wv72cs

Garbage – Push It
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDtU_ofJzus

Madness – Our House
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p4RWBCEFRo

Jane’s Addiction – Been Caught Stealing
http://www.guba.com/watch/3000045834

Smashing Pumpkins – Tonight, Tonight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEvVIgCm1zg

Radiohead – Street Spirit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPX3u0XJzKM

REM – Losing my Religion
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB3VTX0pxoE

2Pac – California Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWOsbGP5Ox4

Blur – Coffee & TV
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCe5yiMWPbA

Frankie Goes to Hollywood – Two Tribes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTOQUnvI3CA

Bjork – All is Full of Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjAoBKagWQA

Tool – Sober
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y697CvJdMBA

a-ha – Take on Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIvAsPlm8es

Pink Floyd – The Wall (The whole movie)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_bvT-DGcWw

Laurie Anderson – Life on a String
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0KvspW3LDo

DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince – Parents Just Don’t Understand
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O4sSZc2WCU

The White Stripes – Fell In Love With A Girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q27BfBkRHbs

Herbie Hancock – Rock It
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nK0Pi4wC8Hk

New Order – True Faith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og1HAkjOuL0

Metallica – One
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzgGTTtR0kc

Adam & The Ants – Stand and Deliver
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPgHbt0ODr4

Cake – The Distance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PU5CVSegg

Chris Isaak – Wicked Game
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oaHHrNQVrg

Dire Straits – Money for Nothing
http://www.veoh.com/videos/e178381Gmta9Kdw

The Cure – The Lovecats
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwPhbsz-QKQ

Michael Jackson – Thriller
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtyJbIOZjS8

Bob Dylan – Subterranean Homesick Blues (It’s technically not a music video. It’s a segment from a tour documentary, but it’s so often imitated that it seemed wrong not to include it.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-xIulyVsG8

Handy tip in case your boss catches you playing Herd It.

Science has spent its entire existence making your life easier, and now science is asking for your help. Oh now, don’t give me that “I work 100+ hours a week while raising 42 children and don’t have  any brain power left to devote to anything else at the end of the day” look. Science wants to meet you at the door with a sweet smile, your pipe and slippers, and a glass of single malt, and it has gone to great lengths to ensure it’s fun. I’d even go so far as to say it is coyly batting its eyelashes at you, and how can you resist such wiles?

You see, some FoTs (Friends of Thundersquee!) at University of California at San Diego are doing research to make your life a little easier and they need your input. In loose scientific terms they’re “Collecting data to associate semantic concepts with acoustic properties of the music.  This data is used to train a machine to generalize the acoustic/semantic associations to new songs.” Which roughly translates to “They’re trying to make it easier for you to search for music you actually like, and they’ve created a game for you to play to aid their research.”  They’ve even used Cait’s bowmchickabowmbowm playlist as inspiration.  Here’s the skinny.  Did I just say “skinny?”

Herd It is a new game on Facebook that is all about music.  Music fans are connected in real time and form a “Herd.” You listen to great  tunes–we have pop, rock, blues, hip hop and electronic (more genres coming soon)–and quick minigames quiz you about what you hear in the music.  Score points when what you hear agrees with the rest of the Herd.

For example, will the songs from Thundersquee!’s bowmchickabowmbowm playlist put you and the Herd in a baby-making mood?  Think you can tell a tender tune from a melancholy melody? Play Herd It and find out!

So please, for the love of Squee! and science, play Herd It today, and maybe, just maybe, science won’t have to get all huffy and take back toilet paper.

[Cartoon image courtesy of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal... because we're not thievy dooshes.  Except when we are.]

Today is Squeer! lava’s something-something birthday.  She said she didn’t want a fuss, just money, but currently our pockets are overflowing with fuss, but contain very little cash.  So please join us in a rousing round of happy birthday, and break out your best breakfast wine to toast our dear lava.  I should also mention she accepts checks.

We hags understand that celebrating in style requires more cash than most grad students have on hand, but we still want Janet to have the best birthday possible, because she is awesome.  Realizing that Gwyneth Paltrow is a veritable font of advice on economically minded elitism, we felt certain she’d have a few ideas to make Janet’s day of revelry more enjoyable. So we headed to the internet with only one question in mind: “What would Gwyneth do?”

After an exhausting 10 minutes of thoroughly studying The Way of Paltrow, we feel eminently qualified to dispense the birthday advice we are sure she would give Janet if she weren’t contemptuous of her relative poverty. So, here it is.  May it make your day a little brighter, Janet.

Gwynnie’s Guide to Living Large without Much Large

Fine Dining: Dining out at top ranked restaurants can be expensive, but killing and eating a top ranked chef is free. It’s like there’s a Michelin Star in every bite.

Note: This can get a little messy, so you might need to buy a box of those things the lady who cleans things uses to put things we don’t want in. Whatever they’re called…You know, the big, plastic bag type things the big truck takes away. Anyway, I don’t think they’re expensive because she buys them, and I pay her so I know how much she earns, and she doesn’t seem to steal from us, so how much can they actually cost?

Fine Arts: Obviously poor people can’t afford to go to the ballet, but I think they at least know about it, right? Do you know about the ballet?  If so, you could pretend you’re at the ballet, or pretend you’re a beautiful ballerina. SO thin…SO pretty…I do this all the time, and I’m not even poor!

Personal fulfillment: Whenever important people (anyone richer than you) are around, ignore the little people (anyone less rich than you), and make jokes at their expense. Social climbing is almost as fun as Kabbalah.

And finally I’d like to leave you with my personal philosophy: “Condescension is always free.”  May it carry you as far as it has carried me.

Happy birthday, Janet! All joking aside, may it be the best ever, or at least in the top 5.

Miley Cyrus was recently on the Today show and told Matt Lauer her current album was written for her clothing line. Has there been a teenage song writer capable of more depth?  I’d have to go all the way back to Fiona Apple, but then again, what are subjects like rape and abortion when compared to fashion and clothing?

Do you have a poodle, yet wish it was a panda, camel, or uh, psychedelic experience?  Then you’re in luck, because apparently a group of lunatics artists felt poodles hadn’t suffered enough humiliation at the hands of groomers, and decided they made the perfect medium for their art.  Granted, some of the work is pretty damned impressive, but still… So, what’s your take?  Art? Cruelty? Adorable?  Humiliating?  All of the above? None of the above?

Full gallery after the jump.

Barrymore looking for Mr. Right

According to contactmusic.com, Drew Barrymore loves dolphins…a lot.  No, I know what you’re thinking, but  more than that.  They say:

The ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ actress is obsessed with the placid marine mammals, and has even turned her home into a shrine to them.

According to National Enquirer magazine, she told a friend: “They are just really special creatures and highly evolved. To tell you the truth, I’m convinced I was a dolphin in another life and that’s why I’m so attracted to them.”

Drew has over 200 statues and figurines of the creatures dotted around her property, including ones carved from crystal and wood.

She also swam with dolphins while holidaying in the Bahamas and Hawaii.

I am sure she probably meant she is attracted to them in a non-seckshual way, but I am choosing to believe otherwise right now because I find it more amusing.  The idea that Drew just came out of the Dolphin Closet makes me laugh.  Drew liking to collect dolphin statues, not so much.

AOL Radio recently launched their new All Nickelback radio station. That’s right, all Nickelback all the time. In their announcement they excitedly state:

Fans can hear every song Nickelback has ever released, including rare acoustic and live versions. Chad Kroeger’s solo tracks are in the mix as well!

The band is on tour all summer long. Head over to Tourtracker to get the latest Nickelback tour dates.

I can’t believe they really love Nickelback, so I can only assume they’re trying to whip us up into a murderous frenzy while pointing us in the direction of Chad Kroeger.  Note how cleverly they try to disguise their brainwashing techniques and their ultimate intention.  They say “…hear every song Nickelback has ever released…” but they really mean, “Be driven to the brink of insanity by everything Kroeger has ever recorded.”  And when they make the seemingly innocent statement, “Head over to Tourtracker to get the latest Nickelback tour dates,” we all know they’re really saying, “He’ll be here on these dates at these times, so GET HIM!”  Or, maybe I just need a sandwich and a moment to come to terms with the fact that AOL Time-Warner actually hates all of humanity.

Fuck you, bloggers (other than us).  Did you really have to label Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson’s trip a mancation? That shit was simply unnecessary, and you know what?  Because you’ve gone and pissed me off, I’ve decided to enact a ban on all man related portmanteaus.  From now on, mancations, mankinis and mandals are off-limits in the People’s Republic of Thundersquee!, as are brodeos and bromances.

So listen up, bloggers of the internets who aren’t us! Do not show me your moobs or your manmaries, and for the love of all that is holy, do NOT expose me to your mannaise.  This will only anger me further.  So please, don’t try me. If I so much as even see you eating Manwich, I will kick you in the mangina.