“I’m at LEAST two”
Last night I was mindin’ muh business, perusing Facebook, when an update appeared from my friend Rev. Random. The Rev usually has something interesting, insightful, or hilarious to say, so my natural inclination was to click the link. I did, and that’s when all reason left me and I was unable to [...]
The voice of a new misogyneration
UPDATE ALERT: See the full article for the addendum.
Are you an awkward young male who is pathetically dependent on corporate driven pop culture for advice on how to achieve social success? Then Pepsi has the iPhone app for you! In order to promote their AMP energy drink, Pepsi recently released [...]
Just add asshole
A London man was killed yesterday when he was struck by shards of glass as he knocked his girlfriend through the front window of a Banana Republic in West London. Witnesses say the couple were arguing when he began shoving her into the shop front window, and that his final shove (literally) was [...]
And possibly a bag of doosh
During a debate yesterday on “Pay-As-You-Go” rules, Tennessee’s 7th District Congresswoman, Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R) was urging Congress to agree that PAYGO enforcement was necessary when this gem popped out of her mouth: “Let’s agree that we’re going to have PAYGO enforcement. That we’re not going to cry ‘emergency’ [...]
Apparently domestic violence is a social gaffe
Chris Brown paid jeweler Jason of Beverly Hills $300,000 to create a tacky-ass necklace that reads “OOPS!” to wear as a form of public apology to P. Diddy’s (or whatever his nom de jour is today) Fourth of July party. It’s good to see Brown is so understanding of [...]
Madoff Given Maximum Sentence
He’s going to prison, the big house, the pokey, the pen, the can, jail, up the river, the hoosegow! Applause broke out in the crowded Manhattan courtroom after U.S. District Judge Denny Chin issued the maximum sentence to Bernard Madoff, thief of billions and fleecer of masses. Madoff was sentenced to 150 [...]
Even Matthew Shepard’s Family Dislike Perez Hilton
Perez Hilton stated on his blog that any proceeds he received from his suit against Black Eyed Peas’ road manager Polo Molina would be donated to the Matthew Shepard Foundation. However, the Matthew Shepard Foundation heard this and have publicly denounced Hilton and stated they don’t want his money. It [...]
Who ya gonna call, McG?
Director Joseph McGinty Nichol, or as he refers to himself, McG, is a notoriously stressful director to work for. After all, our own Mr. Squee lost his shit on the set Terminator Salvation over something the director should have taken care of long before it got to melting point for President [...]
Will Smith was right, yet wrong
Many parents don’t seem to understand, but what they don’t understand is how to be a parent. Here’s a knee slapper of an example. Newly unemployed Phoenix mom, Cynthia Roberson was broke and out of ideas–until, seemingly, she took a look at her last name and noticed it held the [...]
Wrath might be a deadly sin, but a brick’s a deadly weapon.
Recently, Faiso Sahil, a Somalian born mother-of-five living in Bristol, UK, was hospitalized during a high-risk pregnancy with twins. After what she felt was a lengthy stay during which she had asked for labour to be induced and was refused, she allegedly became bored, [...]
Self-Proclaimed Guru Edition
It’s not often that one listens to someone speak and feels the immediate and overwhelming urge to rip that person’s smug face off, but somehow Lisa and Mr. (#1) have managed to find two men that fit that bill. They make me positively Mae-like. I want to brick their faces then rip them [...]
She’s a uniter, not a divider
Last week Republican Texas State Representative Betty Brown (The name Betty White was taken) caused a shit storm during House testimony on a voter ID bill. When asked to address issues concerning the potential challenges faced by Chinese-Americans under the proposed bill, Brown replied:
“Rather than everyone here having to learn [...]
She says as she disseminates it
According to a CNN article published today, last year England’s heir apparent, Prince William possibly made a beginner’s mistake during a naval training exercise that grounded the plane in which he was training. For those less news savvy than CNN, this would appear to be non-news. After all, it happened [...]
Is Chris the New Bobby?
That may be a question best answered in the Thunderdome, but it does look as though he and the former (Current? Who knows? Who cares?) Mr. Houston have at least one thing in common. Rihanna and Chris Brown were both no-shows at the Grammy Awards last night due to what Rihanna’s [...]
Too Much at Stake Edition
Listen up ladies, there’s a new brand of Doosh on the shelves and it’s “[Vampyre], Satanist, Wrestler, Politician, Stalker and Cry Baby” scented. I hope you’re duly impressed. His name is John Alfred Sharkey, but YOU WILL call him The Impaler! ::Cue thunderclap:: Here he is in all his lived-in-his-parents’-basement-too-long glory.
This [...]
Do You Bang the Worst Dudes Possible?
If you think you do, sorry-mom.com might just prove you wrong, or you might find you’re in good company. Of all the horrible tales on the site, it was one of the most innocuous that caught our attention:
“Once, I shit you not, [he] stopped mid make-out to eat [...]