lilyj. net

Suck it, backwater NY hicks

And speaking in tongues

Occasionally a product comes along that you know is destined for greatness. This, dear squeers, is one of those products. It’s not often we stamp our giant Thundersquee! Squeel! of approval on something. We are some picky bitches, but try as we might, we can see no downside–except maybe that it has [...]

I think I’ve spotted the problem

Careful Mellisa, I hear irony can cause low birth weight, too.

Sorry, they’re all out of Laserdisc players

Thanks, Matt N.!

Instructional signs.  Japan’s doing it wrong.

Owned by a little old anthropomorphic personification who only harvested souls on Sundays
Serious inquiries only.  Ask for Albert. If there’s no answer, don’t worry, he has your number.

Thanks again to Matt N. for the tip!

You should see what they barter
Is this genius, pathetic, or both?

Now I feel even lazier for wiping my hands on my jeans

I say found, but I mean “stolen from Brian.”  Thanks for posting things I want to steal, Brian!

And you thought all the good ones were taken

Form an orderly line please, ladies–he is single. It’s hard to believe, I know.

Found on gothicscene.com, a goth dating site. If you’re looking for the “Man Who Dresses Like Death” of your dreams, it’s the place to go.

Filed under WTF?

A Madea impersonator, lesbians, a sexually stimulated tree, dancing cows and dead babies–they’re all part of Cracked’s 7 Insane Ads That Have No Clue What They’re Selling
Off-the-wall ads are nothing knew[sic]; advertisers know weird-ass ads will get people talking. But some commercials just get the “bizarre” part down before shutting off the cameras [...]

They speel gud!
This Wisconsin road sign should say “Business,” “Rothschild,” and “Schofield.”  The Wisconsin DOT blames the sign maker for every word except “exit” being misspelled, while Rothschild Village President Neal Torney didn’t seem to care whose fault it was and struggled to be nice, saying, “How do I politely say it shows some incompetence [...]

The two things I like about Arizona: Deimos and this license plate
Sometimes I’m ashamed to laugh.

Huh!?
I…I know I like it, but I don’t understand it. But yeah…behold, rainbow vomiting pandas and their rainbow vomiting photo explorer friend…I think…just, just click on it…

Music on YouTube made from other music on YouTube.
 

 
(Thanks to Koudelka for the tip!)

A New Favorite Thing

HEADPHONES ALERT: AUDIO IS NSFW -VIDEO IS FINE

Change “can” to “should” and add a question mark, please.

Do you think? Huh…I mean..uhhh…well, hmm…that’s just…just…um.  I think it broke my brain….yet, I want one…

[sic]ening Grammar Edition, Part 2

[Yu] [speel] [gud], [to]!

Do You Bang the Worst Dudes Possible?
If you think you do, sorry-mom.com might just prove you wrong, or you might find you’re in good company. Of all the horrible tales on the site, it was one of the most innocuous that caught our attention:
“Once, I shit you not, [he] stopped mid make-out to eat [...]

[sic]ening Grammar Edition

But, your door was a jar…