Replied Fu Hu, eff you, too, foo’
Chinese immigrant Fu Hu, who runs a drink bar in Auckland, New Zealand, sustained a serious eye injury when a bottle of Keri juice (a brand owned by Coca-Cola) exploded in his face. The 2.4L bottle of juice had apparently fermented, even though it was within its use-by date, [...]
Good joke, bad timing…
In news that seemingly didn’t make it over the border, Canada suffered a listeriosis outbreak last year that killed 22 people. That’s not the joke. That’s just some background info. The joke came via Rory McAlpine, vice-president of government and industry relations with Maple Leaf Foods.
While speaking at a conference, McAlpine [...]
Just add asshole
A London man was killed yesterday when he was struck by shards of glass as he knocked his girlfriend through the front window of a Banana Republic in West London. Witnesses say the couple were arguing when he began shoving her into the shop front window, and that his final shove (literally) was [...]
Anything can be a euphemism if you try hard enough…
Yoga instructor, Mohd Abdullah likes short shorts, but his students aren’t so thrilled. According to Clint Andersen, sport development supervisor with the City of Kamloops, British Columbia, there have been “a series of attire-related complaints” lodged against Abdullah’s brief briefs.
He has been warned twice by officials [...]
The name isn’t helping…
In English her name is Gluttonous Baby, or possibly–according to Google Language Tools–Baby Wolverine. Wait, what? Hold on a sec. Google’s translation has really thrown me for a loop so I’m going to have to consult our resident Spanish Language Expert. (We have an expert for everything here at Thundersquee!) OK, our [...]
I wouldn’t try to hug him, but I’m sure he’d appreciate snacks
Today is Sysadmin Appreciation Day, and if you’re at work while reading this, he’s the reason you can. He’s the man behind the curtain and probably gets paged at 2am more often than you can imagine, so if you see him, tell him thanks, [...]
Urine for a lot of pain, dumbass
An Indiana man stopped to to relieve himself in an alley and discharged the wrong gun. Police say a South Bend man was hospitalized after he shot himself in the thigh with a lawfully concealed weapon. It was apparently in the man’s pocket and he managed to shoot himself [...]
Or maybe they just hate us…
AOL Radio recently launched their new All Nickelback radio station. That’s right, all Nickelback all the time. In their announcement they excitedly state:
Fans can hear every song Nickelback has ever released, including rare acoustic and live versions. Chad Kroeger’s solo tracks are in the mix as well!
The band is [...]
We love you Eddie, but your balls are going to fall off
Eddie Izzard is a charitably minded man (one of the many reasons he’s been a Bale), and he enjoys setting challenges for himself to raise awareness and money for charity, but this time he may have gone too far–about 1,100 miles too far. This [...]
By Kanye West…
As one might expect of a man whose class and beneficence are unrivaled, Kanye West has selflessly stepped up and volunteered himself as the new King of Pop. Kanye’s altruism is second only to his modesty, as evidenced by his proclamation.
“There’s no one who can match me in sales and in respect so [...]
I wonder how many times he got called Iron Man…
Sherlock Holmes staring Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law and Rachel McAdams is set for release on Christmas day, but the hype machine is starting early. Robert Downey Jr. and Rachel McAdams participated in a Sherlock Holmes panel discussion at San Diego Comic-Con this past weekend, and as [...]
Unless you’re a construction worker or a policeman or fireman. Probably best to stick to being an Indian or a biker, really.
Good news! Fewer people are dying in work related accidents. Bad news. It’s because fewer people are working. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics’ National Census of Fatal Occupation Injuries report is out and [...]
AdmittedlyAddicted, your wishes may not be far fetched
Earlier this week I asked you who you’d like to play you in a movie of your life, and AdmittedlyAddicted chose Depp. Who can blame her? He’s a great guy, a great actor and just quirky enough to make it fun. Of course, I assume she was being [...]
I will refrain from describing the bottom notes
Under the guidance of her dad Mitch, Amy Winehouse is set to become the latest celebrity to launch her own perfume range. According to the Daily Star:
“Mitch is keen to license Amy’s name to a perfume house. He has been in talks with manufacturers and contacted PR [...]
He was too legit to quit
When normal people are feeling a little bloated, and you know, stopped up, they up their water and fiber intake, and failing all else they head to the pharmacy and peruse the constipation remedies. But apparently that sort of thing is for pussies, or at least I imagine that’s what [...]
A round of applause for the fine folks of one Milwaukee neighborhood
There might be a lot of crappy people in this world, but there are a lot of great ones, too.
A Tennessee family in Milwaukee to work a booth they had rented at the Waukesha County Fair met with tragedy when the mother decided to [...]
Matt Smith reveals the new doctor’s look
Each Doctor Who has their signature look, and the actor playing the doctor plays a large role in defining it. David Tennant chose his trench coat and chucks, Tom Baker had his massive, colorful scarf, and now Matt Smith, with the help of a costume designer, has revealed his [...]
You’re going to get us all killed
Look, Australia, we know you’ve had it rough. It can’t be easy having New Zealand hanging out in the wings, taunting you with its awe inspiring landscape, relatively mild climate, 16 species of penguins, laid back citizenry and a rugby team that has a history of stomping your asses [...]
That sound you’re hearing is the collective hurrah of a million detractors
According to the Washington Post, Crocs are on their last legs. They say the foam footwear was borne of the economic boom and is now a victim of the bust, but–wait a minute, WaPo. Crocs aren’t expensive, so if it was an economic matter [...]
Last Who-rah
There’ll be one last chance to see David Tennant as a Time Lord, it seems. Tennant is slated to appear with all the other Doctors Who, even the dead ones, in a special, 15 minute short to help the BBC’s Children in Need charity fundraiser. The mini-episode will air in the UK during the [...]