Do you have a poodle, yet wish it was a panda, camel, or uh, psychedelic experience?  Then you’re in luck, because apparently a group of lunatics artists felt poodles hadn’t suffered enough humiliation at the hands of groomers, and decided they made the perfect medium for their art.  Granted, some of the work is pretty damned impressive, but still… So, what’s your take?  Art? Cruelty? Adorable?  Humiliating?  All of the above? None of the above?

Full gallery after the jump.

Each Doctor Who has their signature look, and the actor playing the doctor  plays a large role in defining it. David Tennant chose his trench coat and chucks, Tom Baker had his massive, colorful scarf, and now Matt Smith, with the help of a costume designer, has revealed his signature Who style.  It appears to be country professor punk dork.  This is a style that is rarely intentional, and it’s definitely a nod to time travel, but I’m not sold.  It’s nothing if not original, and I’m pretty sure we’ll see ill-fitting jackets, bow ties, rolled up jeans and Doc Martens on runways this fall, but does it create personality or is it just…fashion?

What’s your take?

Some of the hags recently had a Facebook conversation wherein Cait mentioned that we would definitely rescue Stopthemadness from Albanian kidnappers, a la Taken. Obviously, I thoroughly agreed, and it made me jokingly mention a hag movie, which then led to wonder who I would want to play me.  I thought that would be a pretty easy question to answer, but it brought up a lot more questions for me, instead. Should I go with an actress who looks like an idealized version of me, or someone who has range and can portray me in an honest and fairly accurate way? What about someone whose personality is close to my own, but requires a lot of work to look like me (padding, for a start)?  Should I stick to the current pool of actresses or open things up to include everyone? Maybe I should just  go with someone I think kicks ass.  This should be easier!

I decided to stick with modern actresses, but those who at least share the same coloring as me are sparse.  I have brown hair and blue eyes, and while the first actress that comes to mind is Angelina Jolie, fuck that.  Yes, she’s gorgeous and intelligent, and maybe I would choose her if she were still the Angelina Jolie she was in Hackers, but now she’s too thin, too perfect and too beautiful.  Megan Fox also has dark hair and blue eyes, but hell to the motherfucking no.  After a series of ideas all ending in “no,”  I finally decided to scrap the eye color criteria  (Contact lenses for the win!), and was able to figure it out.  So here’s my choice.

Rachel Weisz:

Who would you choose to play you?

Wedding season is upon us.  Recently squeer! Chelsea – PETA Protector tied the knot, and soon one of Thundersquee!’s own, hag extraordinaire Cait will be following suit, so it felt like time for another wedding themed post. NPR recently did a list of their picks for the least appropriate wedding songs, and while they didn’t get it wrong, they could have done better, and their list was all too brief.  Here’s a quick recap of NPR’s choices:

• Send in the Clowns – Judy Collins
• You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’ - The Righteous Brothers
• Just a Gigolo – Louis Prima
• The Lady is a Tramp – Frank Sinatra
• La donna e mobile from Rigoletto – Verdi Translation: “Anyone who trusts her is always wretched; he who opens his heart to her is lacking in caution.”

They’re all sound choices, but we think you can do much better.  Here are a few additions to get you started.

• Another One Bites the Dust – Queen
• 99 Problems – Ice-T (or Jay-Z)
• D-I-V-O-R-C-E – Tammy Wynette
• The Thrill is Gone – B.B. King
• Gold Digger – Kanye West
• Suspicious Minds – Elvis Presley

Add yours in the comments.

They made us laugh, they made us cry, and occasionally they put us to sleep. And  that was just on the red carpet. Now it’s time for Thundersquee! to return the favor with our  SQUEE!, Meh and Fail picks for the 81st Academy Awards.

On with The FAIL…

Beyonce

CAIT: she looked like an 80s bachelor pad come to life, all black lacquer and framed posters of corvettes next to leather couches and a nagel print.
LILY THE PINK: This outfit demands a ceramic leopard and Billy Dee Williams waiting by the fire.
LISA(#1): STOP LETTING YOUR MOTHER MAKE YOUR CLOTHES. SHE CLEARLY HATES YOU. Ah hem. Bey, let me give you a hint: every time your mom gives you a dress, take it to someone else and say, “make the anti-this.”
MAE: I see mom’s still designing her wardrobe.
STOPTHEMADNESS: My eyes, my eyes!  Tommy Bahama is not couture.  I repeat, it is not couture.

Heidi Klum

CAIT: I know it’s meant to be 2009’s new couture look, but FAIL.
LILY THE PINK: I think Heidi is trying to teach us a lesson in how tasteless sluts dressed 20 years ago while showing off her entire line of jewelry. I just wish she had gone with really big hair.
LISA(#1): If a slutty third grader found some Boons Farm, fabric and a gluegun, this is what you would get. Heidi was wearing like eleventy billion dollars worth of jewlery. That, my friends, is what you call guilding a turd.
STOPTHEMADNESS: Somebody Klum me in, but I wasn’t aware that one could wear origami.  And I don’t know what the hell is going on with that jewelry, but I want to riddle it with bullets, courtesy of my trusty AK-47.

Miley Cyrus

CAIT: This dress barely weighs more than her ego.
LILY THE PINK: Did Disney and Dolly Parton combine forces to design this dress?
LISA(#1): You know sometimes I forget she is only 16. But then I see this. A dress, with tiered petals, all sparkly, a keyhole back and embroidery. Only a 16-year-old would think it wise to throw a belt on that shit. Because it wasn’t busy enough.
STOPTHEMADNESS: Please go away. Go far far away and take Taylor Swift with you (I don’t know who the fuck Taylor Swift is and I don’t care; was she there? Again, with the not caring.). Never come back. No. NO. Do not talk back. JUST GO.

Jessica Biel

CAIT: Where Athena meets 420.
LILY THE PINK: She looks like she got high before she got in the limo, fell asleep on the way to the theater, then woke up as they opened the door for her and threw on the wrong shoes before stumbling on to the red carpet in search of snacks.
LISA(#1): Jessica. Your boob deflated. I think it happened when you were running away from a serial killer in the forest. Isn’t that what happened to your hair? Oh, look at the time, I have to set my Tivo.
MAE: Unkempt hair only works for Robert Pattinson.
STOPTHEMADNESS: You clearly just fucked the limo driver. Here’s a brush. And some mouthwash. Now please follow Miley Cyrus.  I told her to go away, and I’m going to need you to go with her.  Away.  Shut it! Just go and I won’t tell Justin anything about what I just saw.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman

CAIT: Puff puff pass.
LILY THE PINK: Uhhh, I’m guessing ill-timed hair transplant. Otherwise, there’s no excuse. Nope, never mind. There’s still no excuse.
LISA(#1): Is that the same beanie as you wore at Independent Spirit Awards? Ok, either it is glued on your head or you had an unfortunate hair-plug incident. Either way, you, sir, look like a semi-flacid dick with a too-tight black condom trying to slide over the top.
STOPTHEMADNESS: Pssst! Phil! YOU’RE AT THE FUCKING OSCARS! A BEANIE IS NOT APPROPRIATE!

Punch Drunk Free Pass:  Mickey Rourke

CAIT: I long for the days of “Diner.”  ‘Nough said.
LILY THE PINK: His dog story made the bad suit go away, so he’s forgiven.
LISA(#1): I know you want to be Johnny Depp. But I’ve seen Johnny Depp. You sir, are no Johnny Depp. No matter what your addled brains tell you. But you were so awesome in The Wrestler, can I have your autograph?
MAE: Your dog died, not you, and get an effin hair cut already!
STOPTHEMADNESS: AWWW!  But the wittle doggie!  And the aww…..  Well Mickey, it doesn’t excuse the teeth.  Meth explains them.  But the dog doesn’t excuse them.  I’m going to hell.  See you there.

WTF?: Sophia Loren

CAIT: I think Tonya Harding wore something similar in 1992
LILY THE PINK: There comes a point in every woman’s life when they need to call it quits and cover ‘em up.  Even if they still look 40.
LISA(#1): didn’t get to formally comment, but I’m pretty sure the word “Charo” would be included in her comments.
STOPTHEMADNESS: Sophia I will be blaming you when in 30 years I’m still being subjected to Basic Instinct peekaboo shots of Madonna’s vagina.  For the love of croutons, set an example.  Put it away.  You’ve been warned.

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