lilyj. net http://lilyj.net babblings! Tue, 26 Jan 2010 23:21:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 en hourly 1 Afternoon Awesome http://lilyj.net/2009/12/18/afternoon-awesome-75/ http://lilyj.net/2009/12/18/afternoon-awesome-75/#comments Fri, 18 Dec 2009 19:30:15 +0000 Lily the Pink http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=31683 Ham-let

Brian Cox teaches an adorable child the soliloquy from Hamlet

]]> http://lilyj.net/2009/12/18/afternoon-awesome-75/feed/ 0 Afternoon Awesome http://lilyj.net/2009/12/10/afternoon-awesome-72/ http://lilyj.net/2009/12/10/afternoon-awesome-72/#comments Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:00:28 +0000 Lily the Pink http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=31247 It’s awesome time!

This clock is actually an LED screen looping a video of the designer manually redrawing the hands every minute and hour in real time for 12 hours.  The clock is part of a larger body of work by Maarten Baas called Real Time, which includes several really unique and amusing takes on time keeping.

]]> http://lilyj.net/2009/12/10/afternoon-awesome-72/feed/ 0 Afternoon Awesome http://lilyj.net/2009/12/04/afternoon-awesome-70/ http://lilyj.net/2009/12/04/afternoon-awesome-70/#comments Fri, 04 Dec 2009 20:00:51 +0000 Lily the Pink http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=30877 You got servoed

A whole new world was revealed to me recently, the world of RC dancing robots.  Did you know there are people who not only spend time building robots, but also perfecting the ability to make them dance via remote controls? There are even robot dance competitions.  This is awesome on many levels.  For one, I now feel like I have a life, but also because I am sure there are many people out there who have gone too long without the means of living out their dreams of seeing a robot do the robot, and now those people can die happy.  I know I can.


]]> http://lilyj.net/2009/12/04/afternoon-awesome-70/feed/ 0 10 Products You Shouldn’t Pitch to Venture Capitalists http://lilyj.net/2009/12/04/10-products-you-shouldnt-pitch-to-venture-capitalists/ http://lilyj.net/2009/12/04/10-products-you-shouldnt-pitch-to-venture-capitalists/#comments Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:00:08 +0000 Lily the Pink http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=30886 Unless you like rejection…

Times are tough and people are looking for new ways to make money.  The more entrepreneurial of us are constantly trying to come up with million dollar ideas to pitch to venture capitalists in the hope they’ll get money to develop their idea, and if you’ve ever seen shows like Dragon’s Den in the UK and Canada (among others) or Shark Tank in the US, you’ll know that some people have some seriously bad ideas that they think are completely awesome and for which they fully expect a billion trillion dollars.  They call these people “lunatics,” but even at their worst, their foolish ideas aren’t as bad as some of the saner ones.  So I’ve decided to see how bad the ideas could get, and came up with my own list of horrible product or business ideas. Enjoy.

  • 10. Used dog toys
  • 9.  Hybrid speculum/cork extractor
  • 8.  Home Dentistry Kit
  • 7. 811–A number people can call to tell someone everything is going OK today.
  • 6. Hypodermic needle recycling
  • 5. Steel wool bath puffs
  • 4. Tiger Balm Lube
  • 3. Do-it-yourself Circumcision kit
  • 2. Squid leash
  • 1. Vinegar and baking soda douche
]]> http://lilyj.net/2009/12/04/10-products-you-shouldnt-pitch-to-venture-capitalists/feed/ 0 Found on the Internet http://lilyj.net/2009/12/04/found-on-the-internet-41/ http://lilyj.net/2009/12/04/found-on-the-internet-41/#comments Fri, 04 Dec 2009 17:00:18 +0000 Lily the Pink http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=30873 Suck it, backwater NY hicks

cute1

]]> http://lilyj.net/2009/12/04/found-on-the-internet-41/feed/ 0 A Pragmatist’s Guide to Naming Your Children http://lilyj.net/2009/11/25/a-pragmatists-guide-to-naming-your-children-2/ http://lilyj.net/2009/11/25/a-pragmatists-guide-to-naming-your-children-2/#comments Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:30:41 +0000 Lily the Pink http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=30262 ts-child-name

Dear parents and potential parents, or even people who don’t think they will ever be parents but might change their minds at some point in the future–naming your child is serious business. I mean it. So, please, do not express your sense of humor through your child’s name. Naming your child something funny only ensures that he or she will be the butt of the same joke for what will, to him, feel like an eternity. He may cope, and yes, the adversity could make him stronger, but it’s more probable that he will resent you, change his name, eventually disown you, and, after a lifetime of ridicule and humiliation, kill you in your sleep then burn down your home to hide his crime. If this happens, you have only yourselves to blame.

I speak up now because I was recently sent a link to a man’s website. His name was…well, Dick Bonar. Yes, it’s funny. Yes, I laughed, and yes, I felt kind of bad. We all know someone, or have heard of someone named something horrible–the world abounds with people named things like Earl E. Bird, Dick Trickle, Richard Smoker, and my personal favorite, Harry Ramsbottom–but imagine a lifetime of that, or, at the very least, a childhood. Do you really want to inflict that on your offspring? I didn’t think so. So to that end I’ve compiled a few quick questions to help guide you through the child naming process so that you might successfully avoid any of the bigger pitfalls.

1. Is your last name a color such as Brown, Green or Black? Do your children a favor and avoid anything that is a shade of the color of your last name. People will laugh at your twins Forest and Kelly Green when they pick up the paper and read the story of your murder.

2. Have you done your research? Is that name you consider so pretty actually the name of a disease or embarrassing medical term? Look it up. Candida may be lyrical and exotic sounding, but while it’s true that it is Latin for “light,” it’s also true that it’s the name of the fungus that causes jock itch, vaginal yeast infections and thrush.

3. Is the name you’re bandying about in your head outright stupid, a bad joke, or a terrible pun? Do you think naming your son “Justin Case,” or your daughter “Ima Pigg” is the pinnacle of hilarity? Don’t have children.

4. Are you leaning toward the name Harry for your son? Examine your last name. Would your last name, when combined with the name Harry, make 12 year olds titter? Is it Pitts, Butts, Bush, Cheeks, Biggins, Johnson, Cox or Ramsbottom? If so, rethink things.

5. Do you feel compelled to name your child Richard, Peter, William, James or John Thomas? Again, check your last name. Is it, or can it be construed to be, any word that might normally be used to modify, describe or otherwise complement the word “penis”? Some common examples would be: Stroker, Pullman, Head, Butkus, Long, Short, Small, Corker, Ramsbottom (in fact, if this is your last name just go ahead and change it), Striker, Bonar, Baker, Fuller, Hammer, Fuchs, Flicker, Packer, or Knotts. If your name was on that list or it’s currently dawning on you that whatever your last name is could be joined with the name “Jimmy” with amusing results, name your child something else.

I could go on all day, and this is not meant to be a definitive guide. There are far more trappings than I could possibly list, but these should get you thinking. If all else fails, let common sense and the fear of a fiery death be your guide.

]]> http://lilyj.net/2009/11/25/a-pragmatists-guide-to-naming-your-children-2/feed/ 0 Afternoon Awesome http://lilyj.net/2009/10/16/afternoon-awesome-57/ http://lilyj.net/2009/10/16/afternoon-awesome-57/#comments Fri, 16 Oct 2009 22:30:56 +0000 Lily the Pink http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=26470 Nooooo! YAAAAYYY!

The biggest emotional roller coaster you’ll ride all day comes in the form of the best possible outcome to a mother’s worst nightmare. CCTV footage captured an Australian woman standing on a train platform losing control of the baby carriage holding her 6 month old child.  She’s forced to watch in horror as the carriage falls onto the track and is almost instantly hit by a train.  I know, you’re thinking “OMG, LILY DON’T TELL ME THIS!” But guess what!  The baby is fine!  This afternoon awesome is brought to you by the defiance of all odds and the number 7!


]]> http://lilyj.net/2009/10/16/afternoon-awesome-57/feed/ 0 “I’m Not a Racist” http://lilyj.net/2009/10/16/im-not-a-racist/ http://lilyj.net/2009/10/16/im-not-a-racist/#comments Fri, 16 Oct 2009 18:30:18 +0000 Lily the Pink http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=26396 “I’m at LEAST two”

jimcrowpic3

Last night I was mindin’ muh business, perusing Facebook, when an update appeared from my friend Rev. Random. The Rev usually has something interesting, insightful, or hilarious to say, so my natural inclination was to click the link.  I did, and that’s when all reason left me and I was unable to function or form words for the next several minutes.   What she linked to was this: A story about a Louisiana Justice of the Peace who refused to marry an interracial couple. After reading the first few sentences I twitched, I spasmed, I twitched again and grunted, then finally I let out a stream of expletives that only stopped when my brain shut down in either self-defense, or what might be the first documented case of Tourette’s Overload.

Note: I know many of my friends are in interracial relationships, or as I like to call them, relationships, so you might want to tape your head before reading.

In the article, Justice of the Peace Keith Bardwell states, “he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have. ” and that “it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.”

That’s where I started twitching, but it wasn’t until after I tried to wrap my mind around his declaration that he wasn’t a racist that my brain broke. He said:

“I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”

Recipe for cerebral hemorrhage : 1 part confusion, 1 part slack jawed awe at the absurdity, 2 parts anger, stir.

First of all, what the Jim Crow does he think racism is?  Had I just been transported back to 1950 when it was progressive to let black folk use whitey’s facilities? If so, why aren’t my boobs pointy?  Secondly, really, “piles of black friends”? Piles? Are they dead and piled in your basement?  Were they actually once white but turned black as they started to decay? And what the hell? Was he proud that he lets his black friends use his bathroom because he thinks you can catch black from a toilet seat? Does he actually live in the 18th century where he’s mistaking the smiling, singing, dark skinned people working his fields as friends?  “They’re singing, so they must like me!” Ahhhhh!!!!!!! *POOF*

I admit, I find his logic and defense of it so absurd it is actually funny, but the reality and repercussions of his act are anything but funny.  There may be some truth in what he says, but it’s only true because it’s a self-fulfilling truth.  It’s not always easy being in an interracial relationship, but it’s not the interracial relationship that’s the problem. The entirety of  the problem is other people thinking there’s something wrong with it! So as long as people like him take that stance it won’t be easy.

I could freak out about this for days, but instead I’ll just say, I hope he gets run over by the giant ball of racist crap he’s rolled up his non-existent slippery slope.

]]> http://lilyj.net/2009/10/16/im-not-a-racist/feed/ 0 Reinventing the Wheel http://lilyj.net/2009/10/15/reinventing-the-wheel/ http://lilyj.net/2009/10/15/reinventing-the-wheel/#comments Thu, 15 Oct 2009 20:00:43 +0000 Lily the Pink http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=26213 And speaking in tongues

Occasionally a product comes along that you know is destined for greatness. This, dear squeers, is one of those products. It’s not often we stamp our giant Thundersquee! Squeel! of approval on something. We are some picky bitches, but try as we might, we can see no downside–except maybe that it has a portmanteau for a name, but if we can forgive Lewis Carroll, we can forgive this product.  After all, what has Carroll done for us lately? So without further ado, we introduce to you the Sqweel Oral Sex Simulator (batteries are even included). I wonder if we can get a Thundersquee! branded version…

]]> http://lilyj.net/2009/10/15/reinventing-the-wheel/feed/ 0 The 50 Best Music Videos Ever, TUIOO http://lilyj.net/2009/10/14/the-50-best-music-videos-ever-tuioo/ http://lilyj.net/2009/10/14/the-50-best-music-videos-ever-tuioo/#comments Wed, 14 Oct 2009 20:00:30 +0000 Lily the Pink http://www.thundersquee.com/?p=26043 4zusygjRemember when the M in MTV stood for music?  Yeah, we do too. Fuck MTV for taking that away from us.  We still love music videos as an art form, and wish MTV would come to its senses (or at least have the decency to change its name).  However, it’s doubtful they’ll return to the music video driven format any time soon, so we will attempt to help keep the concept alive. To that end, here’s a list of the 50 best music videos ever.

These choices have very little to do with the songs themselves; these are videos that either  made the medium better through innovation, or made the songs better by capturing something or adding another dimension to it or to the artist. We allowed ourselves only one video from each artist or group because certain artists tend to be more video oriented. That made it much more difficult, and keeping it to 50 nearly proved to be lethal, but we made it!

Here they are, in no particular order. We hope you have as much fun with them as we did. Let us know what you think. What would you add to the list to make it more definitive?

The Avalanches – Frontier Psychiatrist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8BWBn26bX0

Thom Yorke and UNKLE – Rabbit in Your Headlights
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3ClCwcCvdQ

Weezer – Buddy Holly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiIC5qcXeNU

Art of Noise – Close to the Edit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxidefcsjDc

Soundgarden – Black Hole Sun
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiSkyEyBczU

Pulp – This is Hardcore
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BmL-7Y1kw8

Portishead – Glory Box
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yF-GvT8Clnk

Jamiroquai – Virtual Insanity
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJmX1z1NY2c

OK Go! – Here it Goes Again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5zWaTEVkI

Fatboy Slim – Weapon of Choice
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZbckwYY9r4

Billy Joel – Pressure
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGksmlTWCFE

Talking Heads – Once in a Lifetime
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x12spb_talking-heads-once-in-a-lifetime_music

Outkast – The Whole World
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5UJjQt3bkM

Fiona Apple – Criminal
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTpvjNn2BUM

Nirvana – Heart Shaped Box
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SK7Ai9dWrRQ

Kaiser Chiefs – Everything is Average Nowadays
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpYj7-YMGqA

Timbaland and Magoo – Here We Come
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ial3ZY0rtpw

Madonna – Like a Prayer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uORcKfgVJaE

Chemical Brothers – Let Forever Be
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hmpxsk3dHaA

Peter Gabriel – Sledgehammer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqyc37aOqT0

Genesis – Land of Confusion
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oepXF2B5NK4

Beck – Loser
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1513185/beck_loser/

Beastie Boys – Intergalactic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDS83yrM30Y

Super Furry Animals – It’s Not The End of the World?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUoc6Wv72cs

Garbage – Push It
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDtU_ofJzus

Madness – Our House
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p4RWBCEFRo

Jane’s Addiction – Been Caught Stealing
http://www.guba.com/watch/3000045834

Smashing Pumpkins – Tonight, Tonight
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEvVIgCm1zg

Radiohead – Street Spirit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPX3u0XJzKM

REM – Losing my Religion
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB3VTX0pxoE

2Pac – California Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWOsbGP5Ox4

Blur – Coffee & TV
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCe5yiMWPbA

Frankie Goes to Hollywood – Two Tribes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTOQUnvI3CA

Bjork – All is Full of Love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjAoBKagWQA

Tool – Sober
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y697CvJdMBA

a-ha – Take on Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIvAsPlm8es

Pink Floyd – The Wall (The whole movie)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_bvT-DGcWw

Laurie Anderson – Life on a String
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0KvspW3LDo

DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince – Parents Just Don’t Understand
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O4sSZc2WCU

The White Stripes – Fell In Love With A Girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q27BfBkRHbs

Herbie Hancock – Rock It
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nK0Pi4wC8Hk

New Order – True Faith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og1HAkjOuL0

Metallica – One
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzgGTTtR0kc

Adam & The Ants – Stand and Deliver
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPgHbt0ODr4

Cake – The Distance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__PU5CVSegg

Chris Isaak – Wicked Game
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oaHHrNQVrg

Dire Straits – Money for Nothing
http://www.veoh.com/videos/e178381Gmta9Kdw

The Cure – The Lovecats
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwPhbsz-QKQ

Michael Jackson – Thriller
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtyJbIOZjS8

Bob Dylan – Subterranean Homesick Blues (It’s technically not a music video. It’s a segment from a tour documentary, but it’s so often imitated that it seemed wrong not to include it.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-xIulyVsG8

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