AOL Radio recently launched their new All Nickelback radio station. That’s right, all Nickelback all the time. In their announcement they excitedly state:

Fans can hear every song Nickelback has ever released, including rare acoustic and live versions. Chad Kroeger’s solo tracks are in the mix as well!

The band is on tour all summer long. Head over to Tourtracker to get the latest Nickelback tour dates.

I can’t believe they really love Nickelback, so I can only assume they’re trying to whip us up into a murderous frenzy while pointing us in the direction of Chad Kroeger.  Note how cleverly they try to disguise their brainwashing techniques and their ultimate intention.  They say “…hear every song Nickelback has ever released…” but they really mean, “Be driven to the brink of insanity by everything Kroeger has ever recorded.”  And when they make the seemingly innocent statement, “Head over to Tourtracker to get the latest Nickelback tour dates,” we all know they’re really saying, “He’ll be here on these dates at these times, so GET HIM!”  Or, maybe I just need a sandwich and a moment to come to terms with the fact that AOL Time-Warner actually hates all of humanity.