A London man was killed yesterday when he was struck by shards of glass as he knocked his girlfriend through the front window of a Banana Republic in West London.  Witnesses say the couple were arguing when he began shoving her into the shop front window, and that his final shove (literally) was hard enough to send her through the window. As the window shattered, he was struck by a piece of glass that severed an artery, and he bled to death before paramedics could arrive. His girlfriend suffered only minor scrapes and bruises.

No deity has stepped forward to claim responsibility, but Buddha is currently smiling knowingly.

Chris Brown paid jeweler Jason of Beverly Hills $300,000 to create a tacky-ass necklace that reads “OOPS!” to wear as a form of public apology to P. Diddy’s (or whatever his nom de jour is today) Fourth of July party.  It’s good to see Brown is so understanding of the severity of his crime.  Yes, Chris, the appropriate level of apology for felony assault is, indeed, “oops!” Although, the necklace really should have read “Oops! I am a sick young man who broke Rhianna’s face over a text message.” Or maybe, “Oops! I’m a fuckhead who is basically getting away with something other men would have done hard time for.” Or possibly, “Oops! My friends insulate me and tell me I did nothing wrong, so I think bashing in my girlfriend’s face is acceptable behavior, or at worst a faux pas.” Or even, “Oops!  I exist.”  I guess the extra words would have cost too much…

Thanks for the tip, AdAd.

Alleged Threatener and Undisclosed Female

That may be a question best answered  in the Thunderdome, but it does look as though he and the former (Current?  Who knows?  Who cares?) Mr. Houston have at least one thing in common.  Rihanna and Chris Brown were both no-shows at the Grammy Awards last night due to what Rihanna’s publicist, Amanda Silverman initially labeled “a traffic altercation” (PR speak for “they got in a fight in a car”). Subsequently, Ms. Silverman has acted as if she never released that statement  and is currently all, “You bitches are crazy.  Rihanna’s fine.”

The police paint a bit of a different picture, however, saying that Brown and an undisclosed female began arguing in a car (told you), then got out of the car, after which things escalated and the female was visibly injured.  Brown allegedly fled the scene before the police arrived, but the female identified him as her assailant.  Eventually Brown turned himself in and was charged with suspicion of making a criminal threat, and released on a $50,000 bond, although more charges may be pending.

Apparently unable to take all the negativity toward her new BFF,   LAPD officer, Sgt. Bridget Pickett was nice enough to mention that Brown “appeared uninjured” and that “He’s a good looking young man.”  She also mentioned  that Brown “was a professional,” and we can’t help but imagine she did so while sighing and doodling  “Sgt. Pickett + Chris=True Love FOREVER!!” on Brown’s mugshot–in glitter pen.

Unfortunately for Chris, the thing he and Bobby Brown don’t have in common is a Grammy Award.